Another 95 Theses

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Another 95 Theses

37: The church continues to teach the ridiculous story of Noah’s Ark as a factual event, ignoring its origins in the Epic of Gilgamesh, textual contradictions, and insurmountable problems that are obvious to most everybody; thus it reduces God to a stage magician who waves his wand and poofs absurdity into reality just to confirm an ancient text that can’t even get its Flood stories straight.

81: Neither the church nor early Christianity has consistently taught the Real Presence, despite Luther’s insistence in belief that the body of Jesus is bodily present in the Communion wafer, a body that physically ascended to heaven two thousand years ago and has been parceled out in churches around the world ever since.

89: Preparing an eternity of horrible torture for most of the people you have created, without providing any means of avoiding it or rehabilitation once they are there, is the worst possible evil, an act of the most unimaginably cruel and pointless sadism.

90: If the predestination taught by Augustine and Luther (less consistently by the Bible and the church) were true, then all of the church’s preaching and forgiveness would be utterly futile, since none of us puppets can change the outcome of God’s scripted show.

91: Both the Bible and the church contradict themselves about predestination, saying that God is omnibenevolent (all-loving) and wants all to be saved, yet at the same time saying he is omnipotent and reveals salvation only to his elect, chosen few.